With all that has been happening lately, my emotions have finally caught up with me and I'm finally realizing what a big part of my problem is. I'm so restless. I am so excited to be heading on a vacation because I just feel like I need to be on the move. The biggest problem in my restlessness has been that I've been neglectful of my relationship with Jesus. I'm searching everywhere but the place I should be. I haven't been asking for direction, I've just been wandering aimlessly hoping it will drop in my lap. In Luke it says, "Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened", but I've not been asking, so how can I receive...I've not been seeking, so how will I find?
I recently heard an Audrey Assad song called "Restless" and I was struck by it's truth. I am restless until I rest in Christ. He has given me this restlessness but it is my job to ask him and to seek after him for what to do with it.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
To my teachers, with love...
With every year of teaching that passes, I have a new appreciation for my former teachers. Little things that as a student never cross your mind are the "norm" for a teacher. As I gathered up textbooks today and took them back to the book room, I realized that I have no idea where the book room is even located at Central. It certainly wasn't something I ever thought about. I never wondered where the books were kept or whose responsibility it was to keep track of them, organize them and put them away. As I prepare my year-end packages for the office, I realize just how much paperwork my teachers had to do....just in case I wanted to look at the final and contest the given mark. After spending 5 hours correcting my science final, I had to enter all the marks, post the marks, submit the marks, and then approve the marks. Seriously. This isn't a short process. Then, as I spent time calling parents and tracking down students, I realized how much time my teachers spent making sure that we were kept on the right path. We only have so much control over that and although we can't keep everyone there, it is a battle we continue to fight because we see potential in the students that we engage with everyday.
So, for all the times I didn't say thank you, I want to say it now. My teachers may never know the impact they made on my life, but I am completely aware now of their sacrifice. Mr. Verity would be pleased to know that I haven't ended up sitting on the corner of Caribou and that, yes, that calculus class has come in handy. I'm thankful to Miss Brodie for being so adamant that we learn proper grammar and writing techniques because I have never used it as much as I have in these last 5 years. I'm thankful to Mr. McKinnon for being a great conductor and for having expectations of us in rehearsals. Those are the same expectations I have of my students. I'm even more grateful for the countless hours he spent after school so that we could have extracurricular music groups, especially now knowing that it means he gave up countless other hours to prepare and plan all the other tasks for which a music teacher is responsible.
I've often wondered where my grade 3/4 teacher has ended up. I wish I could give her a hug and thank her for thinking outside of the box. Miss Bell was the greatest teacher I've ever had and I wish I could tell her. When you're 8, you don't know it. I know it now. She may not have been a conventional teacher, but I learned a lot from her. I remember so much from her class and that has made an impact on me as an adult.
So thank you. Thank you for giving of yourselves so that I could be the person I am today. Thank you for seeing value in me, even when I didn't see it in myself.
So, for all the times I didn't say thank you, I want to say it now. My teachers may never know the impact they made on my life, but I am completely aware now of their sacrifice. Mr. Verity would be pleased to know that I haven't ended up sitting on the corner of Caribou and that, yes, that calculus class has come in handy. I'm thankful to Miss Brodie for being so adamant that we learn proper grammar and writing techniques because I have never used it as much as I have in these last 5 years. I'm thankful to Mr. McKinnon for being a great conductor and for having expectations of us in rehearsals. Those are the same expectations I have of my students. I'm even more grateful for the countless hours he spent after school so that we could have extracurricular music groups, especially now knowing that it means he gave up countless other hours to prepare and plan all the other tasks for which a music teacher is responsible.
I've often wondered where my grade 3/4 teacher has ended up. I wish I could give her a hug and thank her for thinking outside of the box. Miss Bell was the greatest teacher I've ever had and I wish I could tell her. When you're 8, you don't know it. I know it now. She may not have been a conventional teacher, but I learned a lot from her. I remember so much from her class and that has made an impact on me as an adult.
So thank you. Thank you for giving of yourselves so that I could be the person I am today. Thank you for seeing value in me, even when I didn't see it in myself.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Storing Up Treasures
Imagine for a moment with me, will you? Close your eyes and picture the items you treasure most in your home. Don't be sacrificial now and say family...be realistic. Picture those things that you can't imagine parting with. Categorize them in your mind.
Imagine now that everything you owned suddenly disappeared. All around you, nothing. Imagine the feeling that would accompany it. Is it relief? Sorrow? Self pity? Selfishness?
What would you miss the most? Think about it. Then ask yourself if you value those things more than you should. Ask yourself if, when God calls you home, they will be of value to anyone else.
I spent yesterday helping my mom, my auntie, and my uncle clean out my grandpa's apartment. As we sorted and cleaned, I realized how many treasures hold no value after we are gone. Piles were made for garbage, for donations and for keeps. The keep pile was a lot smaller than the other two.
And here's what I realized - I valued and loved my grandpa, but it wasn't because of what he owned. It's because he was my grandpa. At the end of the day, the few little mementos I kept from his place were because they reminded me of him, but in the end most of what he kept in his life held no significance for anyone. As we carried out bags to the trash bin, I realized just how fleeting this life is and I was reminded about the verses in Matthew 6. They say,
"Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or - worse! - stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you most want to be, and end up being." (The Message)
The NIV says, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".
Someday, I will close my eyes for the final time and none of this will go with me when I leave this earth. When I get to Heaven, what kind of treasures will I have stored there? Will I have stored a kind word and helping hand? Will my treasures be love and trust? Or will I have left all my treasures behind on earth only to find out that I was storing my treasures in the wrong place. What kind of legacy will I leave behind? One that shows that my treasures were not of this world or one that shows I accumulated a lot of stuff. Will I gain the whole world but lose my soul?
Don't get me wrong. Possessions are a part of this life but they can't BE life. I'm still learning this lesson and I'm definitely not where I want to be, but I'm conscious of it. It is nestled in the corner of my mind, reminding me when I feel my greedy human nature surfacing, that this is not where I want to store my treasures.
Imagine now that everything you owned suddenly disappeared. All around you, nothing. Imagine the feeling that would accompany it. Is it relief? Sorrow? Self pity? Selfishness?
What would you miss the most? Think about it. Then ask yourself if you value those things more than you should. Ask yourself if, when God calls you home, they will be of value to anyone else.
I spent yesterday helping my mom, my auntie, and my uncle clean out my grandpa's apartment. As we sorted and cleaned, I realized how many treasures hold no value after we are gone. Piles were made for garbage, for donations and for keeps. The keep pile was a lot smaller than the other two.
And here's what I realized - I valued and loved my grandpa, but it wasn't because of what he owned. It's because he was my grandpa. At the end of the day, the few little mementos I kept from his place were because they reminded me of him, but in the end most of what he kept in his life held no significance for anyone. As we carried out bags to the trash bin, I realized just how fleeting this life is and I was reminded about the verses in Matthew 6. They say,
"Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or - worse! - stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you most want to be, and end up being." (The Message)
The NIV says, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".
Someday, I will close my eyes for the final time and none of this will go with me when I leave this earth. When I get to Heaven, what kind of treasures will I have stored there? Will I have stored a kind word and helping hand? Will my treasures be love and trust? Or will I have left all my treasures behind on earth only to find out that I was storing my treasures in the wrong place. What kind of legacy will I leave behind? One that shows that my treasures were not of this world or one that shows I accumulated a lot of stuff. Will I gain the whole world but lose my soul?
Don't get me wrong. Possessions are a part of this life but they can't BE life. I'm still learning this lesson and I'm definitely not where I want to be, but I'm conscious of it. It is nestled in the corner of my mind, reminding me when I feel my greedy human nature surfacing, that this is not where I want to store my treasures.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Saying Goodbye
My Grandpa died today. It happened sooner than I thought it would, but it wasn't a surprise either. It doesn't make it any easier. I was always Grandpa's girl and this feels like an awfully big hole in my heart. My Grandma died when I was 12 and although it was hard, I wasn't really old enough to truly understand but now I am.
My Grandpa was a grumpy man, but in his heart he was a teddy bear. My memories of my Grandpa are sweet. I have pictures of me with him as a baby, sleeping on his chest. I must have trusted him from the start. I remember coming for a week in the summers to hang out with him and Grandma. Those were such fun weeks and I'm pretty sure I was spoiled beyond belief. I remember driving around in Grandpa's old cars and squishing into the back of the cruck (or an el camino as it is actually called). One time, Grandpa and I took a road trip to Flin Flon, MB to see my auntie, uncle and cousins. I remember we got lost coming home and somehow ended up on a dirt road outside of Regina. He didn't think it was funny!
I always knew my Grandpa was proud of me, even when he thought I was crazy for doing what I did. He kept my picture proudly displayed on his fridge and always said that he loved me whenever I came to visit.
It will be strange to come home and not have him here. I will miss him.
I know my Grandpa loved me and I hope he knew how much I loved him.
My Grandpa was a grumpy man, but in his heart he was a teddy bear. My memories of my Grandpa are sweet. I have pictures of me with him as a baby, sleeping on his chest. I must have trusted him from the start. I remember coming for a week in the summers to hang out with him and Grandma. Those were such fun weeks and I'm pretty sure I was spoiled beyond belief. I remember driving around in Grandpa's old cars and squishing into the back of the cruck (or an el camino as it is actually called). One time, Grandpa and I took a road trip to Flin Flon, MB to see my auntie, uncle and cousins. I remember we got lost coming home and somehow ended up on a dirt road outside of Regina. He didn't think it was funny!
I always knew my Grandpa was proud of me, even when he thought I was crazy for doing what I did. He kept my picture proudly displayed on his fridge and always said that he loved me whenever I came to visit.
It will be strange to come home and not have him here. I will miss him.
I know my Grandpa loved me and I hope he knew how much I loved him.
 |
| My Gramps |
Friday, June 3, 2011
Longing...
I wish that flying wasn't so expensive or that I was independently wealthy or that I bought lottery tickets and won a million dollars. Then, I could hop on a plane anytime I wanted to go and see my kids. I talked to my Kenyan kids on the phone today. They sound so happy and full of life. They love school and the fact that they get to go swimming.
I talked to Deborah and I sent her a "kiss" over Skype and she just started cackling. The laugh that I always hear in my head when I think of her. I'm so glad I got to hear it for real. How I miss that girl. She told me her hair is long and that her sister had a baby and that she likes the house she lives in at school and that she came in first place in cross country. Then she told me she misses me and loves me. Then she asked when I was going to come to Kenya. Someday, someday. That was all I could tell her. I don't know when, I just know someday.
Those children will always be in my heart. My, how I long for a hug from them, to sit close and read a book, to hear them sing.
I'm longing for just a little bit more time with each one of them.
I talked to Deborah and I sent her a "kiss" over Skype and she just started cackling. The laugh that I always hear in my head when I think of her. I'm so glad I got to hear it for real. How I miss that girl. She told me her hair is long and that her sister had a baby and that she likes the house she lives in at school and that she came in first place in cross country. Then she told me she misses me and loves me. Then she asked when I was going to come to Kenya. Someday, someday. That was all I could tell her. I don't know when, I just know someday.
Those children will always be in my heart. My, how I long for a hug from them, to sit close and read a book, to hear them sing.
I'm longing for just a little bit more time with each one of them.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The Midlynns :)
Here is a link to see Jodi, Michelle and I rockin' out the house (more like a coffee house than a rockin' house, but let's not get technical). We're not too shabby. We did a little medley.
After the Gold Rush and Landslide
After the Gold Rush and Landslide
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Moments that Make it Worthwhile
This last week has been one of many highlights that remind me of why I really love teaching. Last Wednesday, our choir embarked on its annual choral trip, this year to Banff, AB. After some pretty crazy days of wondering whether or not we'd even be able to go (what with all the pending strike action and such), I was pretty happy when the school board and the government made plans for negotiation, thus saving us from striking (at least for now).
The choir spent an incredible 2 days in Banff learning from an amazing conductor and clinician, Scott Leithead. Scott directs a choir in Edmonton called Kokopelli (you should check it out here). If I lived in Edmonton, I'd go to every concert they have....heck, I'd audition for the choir. I learned so much from Scott in those 2 days and my students have told me numerous times how much they enjoyed our clinics. Scott has spent an incredible amount of time in Africa and taught both Concert Choir and Honour Choir a couple of African pieces that we are hopefully going to add to our final concert program. I loved hearing the African music again and while it made me smile, it also made me long for a concert with my babies. I'd give anything to hear Ritah sing Mwijje again.
Amazingly enough, we took 104 students to Banff and had no major problems. In fact, several of the shopkeepers commented on how polite and well behaved our students were. That made me so proud. The trip wasn't perfect, but I couldn't have been more pleased with how my students behaved. They are still the chatty bunch they've always been, but as they began to absorb what Scott was sharing with them, they seemed to pull together and sounded better than they ever had.
One of my students commented on how much she enjoyed our clinics and I said I hope to be like Scott one day, and she just looked at me and said "Miss A, you already are". This from a girl who isn't afraid to share what's on her mind, is in grade 12, and really loved the previous director, a teacher she'd had for 3 years of choir. I could have cried. Coming into a new position is always difficult, but being a choir director makes it even harder. More than anything, you need to make sure your students trust you with their hearts and their emotions. If they don't, you'll never achieve music that not only has technical requirements, but pieces of their heart held out to you. I feel like the time on this trip helped me to connect with a lot of my students in a new way. Time spent on the bus visiting, going up the gondola, singing karaoke, hearing their stories of bike rides around Banff - it all helped me to get to know them just a little bit better. Already, I see a difference and we've only been back at school for 3 days.
Tonight, one of the groups from the Entrepreneurship 30 class organized a talent show (which Jodi, Michelle and I sang at...we were pretty awesome, but ya know...whatev :). I was absolutely amazed at the talent of the students. Some of them I teach, some I'd never met before. Michelle leaned over and said that it should be called 'Hidden Talent' because we'd never have known these kids could do this if it hadn't been for this night. One of the guys played guitar like the boy from August Rush (great movie, by the way...you should watch it). He was incredible. Another guy played guitar and sang - sounded a little bit like John Mayer with his smooth style and light falsetto. Two of my students sang together and I was blown away by how well their voices blended and the harmonies they created. There was a duo that did improv narration and it was well timed and very funny. One of my students - a boy that struggles with attendance and commitment - turns out to be an amazing beat boxer. Literally, I was blown away. With each student that came on the stage, I was amazed by the talent I saw in them. That's part of what teaching is about. Discovering hidden talents. Every student has them, the question is whether or not I will dig deep enough to find them and then be willing to push the student to develop that talent.
I'm grateful for these moments because there are days when I wonder why I bother and then I'm reminded - this is why. The faith these students had in themselves tonight and on our trip is what makes teaching worthwhile. They found value and they valued others. They discovered that they could do it. That's pretty much what every teacher hopes for. It's been a good reminder.
The choir spent an incredible 2 days in Banff learning from an amazing conductor and clinician, Scott Leithead. Scott directs a choir in Edmonton called Kokopelli (you should check it out here). If I lived in Edmonton, I'd go to every concert they have....heck, I'd audition for the choir. I learned so much from Scott in those 2 days and my students have told me numerous times how much they enjoyed our clinics. Scott has spent an incredible amount of time in Africa and taught both Concert Choir and Honour Choir a couple of African pieces that we are hopefully going to add to our final concert program. I loved hearing the African music again and while it made me smile, it also made me long for a concert with my babies. I'd give anything to hear Ritah sing Mwijje again.
Amazingly enough, we took 104 students to Banff and had no major problems. In fact, several of the shopkeepers commented on how polite and well behaved our students were. That made me so proud. The trip wasn't perfect, but I couldn't have been more pleased with how my students behaved. They are still the chatty bunch they've always been, but as they began to absorb what Scott was sharing with them, they seemed to pull together and sounded better than they ever had.
One of my students commented on how much she enjoyed our clinics and I said I hope to be like Scott one day, and she just looked at me and said "Miss A, you already are". This from a girl who isn't afraid to share what's on her mind, is in grade 12, and really loved the previous director, a teacher she'd had for 3 years of choir. I could have cried. Coming into a new position is always difficult, but being a choir director makes it even harder. More than anything, you need to make sure your students trust you with their hearts and their emotions. If they don't, you'll never achieve music that not only has technical requirements, but pieces of their heart held out to you. I feel like the time on this trip helped me to connect with a lot of my students in a new way. Time spent on the bus visiting, going up the gondola, singing karaoke, hearing their stories of bike rides around Banff - it all helped me to get to know them just a little bit better. Already, I see a difference and we've only been back at school for 3 days.
Tonight, one of the groups from the Entrepreneurship 30 class organized a talent show (which Jodi, Michelle and I sang at...we were pretty awesome, but ya know...whatev :). I was absolutely amazed at the talent of the students. Some of them I teach, some I'd never met before. Michelle leaned over and said that it should be called 'Hidden Talent' because we'd never have known these kids could do this if it hadn't been for this night. One of the guys played guitar like the boy from August Rush (great movie, by the way...you should watch it). He was incredible. Another guy played guitar and sang - sounded a little bit like John Mayer with his smooth style and light falsetto. Two of my students sang together and I was blown away by how well their voices blended and the harmonies they created. There was a duo that did improv narration and it was well timed and very funny. One of my students - a boy that struggles with attendance and commitment - turns out to be an amazing beat boxer. Literally, I was blown away. With each student that came on the stage, I was amazed by the talent I saw in them. That's part of what teaching is about. Discovering hidden talents. Every student has them, the question is whether or not I will dig deep enough to find them and then be willing to push the student to develop that talent.
I'm grateful for these moments because there are days when I wonder why I bother and then I'm reminded - this is why. The faith these students had in themselves tonight and on our trip is what makes teaching worthwhile. They found value and they valued others. They discovered that they could do it. That's pretty much what every teacher hopes for. It's been a good reminder.
 |
| Scott, clinician extraordinaire |
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