Home

Home is where the heart is. Is that true? Can the heart be in more than one place at the same time? Home is a debatable term, one that can hold many definitions, emotions, connections...

Having been "home" on vacation has made me miss my other "home". The bus and all the people that I currently spend every day with have become my home and yet being in Regina made me realize that I miss that home as well. I loved being with my family and friends, going to church, meeting with Pastor Dave, driving my car, but at the same time, I missed sitting on the bus squished in between two kids reading a book, laughing with Amy after sound check, hugs from Chelsea and a host of other daily routines that have become my normal life.

As we were driving away from our church this morning, I was sitting in my seat on the bus, and I turned to Vic and said that it was good to be home. Right now, at this moment of my life, Village 3 is home. It's the place that feels comfortable, right. It's the place I want to be when I curl up to read a book or when I need a moment of solitude. It is also the place where I feel surrounded by love and laughter, hopes and dreams, chaos and moments of confusion - all the emotions of life that we feel at home. A wonderful blend of growth and stability. Tour life is not perfect, but it is fulfilling, challenging, rewarding.

I'm so glad that I'm home.

Oh Canada!

Well, we have returned to the true north (strong and free) and I'm so glad to be back in Canada! Today, I used my debit card, had a lovely cup of Tim Horton's Chai tea and a honey crueller, and saw the beautiful expanse of the Southern Alberta prairies. Yes, this Canadian prairie girl is glad to be back on Canadian soil.

There are a few things I will miss about America, though. I will miss Pandora. Such a shame that I can't make my own radio station in Canada. I love Pandora. If I want to listen to Jazz, I choose my jazz station. If I want to listen to Classical, I choose my classical station. If I don't like the song, I give it a thumbs down and it never plays again. Oh, the joy.

I will also miss Target. There is something very relaxing about a casual stroll through Target that you don't really get from Wal-Mart. That, and the clothes are nicer. I have such wonderful memories of random strolls through Target with Amy. Those were good times.
I'm glad to be back in the land of Celsius, kilometres and people who don't think I pronounce "about" funny. Really people...you aren't original. I am looking forward to seeing people I love in Alberta and BC, driving through the Canadian Rockies (which, in my humble opinion are much more majestic than the US Rockies), using my Canadian cell phone, and having pretty money to spend :)

The border was so great today. We had a friendly border guard and immigration officer. We didn't have to unload every last piece of luggage and then have it scanned. The hardest part was filling out the declaration forms - and even that was a piece of cake. Oh Canada. You are good to me. I am glad to be home :)

Plans in their hearts

Every night, Harriet and I give a speech to the audience of people who come to see our choir's performance. At the end of the speech, Harriet tells the people that we would like them to meet our children by name and hear the plans that are inside their hearts and not only hear them, but believe with us that God has placed them there. The children join us on stage as she says those words and although I hear them every night, it wasn't until a few nights ago that they really hit my heart. As Faith and Brian led the choir up on stage, I looked at Faith and realized that in her heart, God has a plan. Right now, she wants to be a musician. Maybe that's what she'll be, maybe God will develop something else, something that is deeper in her heart than she realizes yet, but in her heart is a God-breathed plan, a dream. My call for this year is to help my children see that God has a plan for their lives and to give them some tools to help that dream become a reality. That realization gives me more that just a warm feeling - it gives me a purpose. God's plan for me right now is to love those children, help them to discover their potential, and give them some resources to draw from as they grow and learn. Such a remarkable challenge, but such a beautiful gift.

Tackles and Trucks

We had the best playtime today with the children. My host has a great big backyard and had all the host families over for a bbq. I played so hard, I got grass stains on my jeans and even on my elbows. It was the best kind of playtime. A lot of really soft grass, basketball nets, and a jungle gym - and nowhere for the children to go. Not once did I stop to count to see if they were all there. I just played. We wrestled, tackled and did cart wheels, played chase and trucks. I asked Reagan if he had a good time and he looked up at me with his chubby cheeks and big smile and said, "yes, Auntie. I played trucks from the start to the finish." That was almost 90 minutes of dump truck time. We don't get that very often. I think that was just what we needed. I'm even just a little bit sore from all the wrestling, but that's alright. It's a good reminder of a good day and why I need to do it more often.

Things that have become "normal"

Tonight, Amy and I watched a movie on my laptop sitting in a jacuzzi (using subtitles because the jets were too loud) at a host home (which, remember, were strangers before Sunday night...and really, still are) while we drank all natural mango juice (which by the way, gave me heartburn. That's sucks cause it's so good). Weird. Then we asked the host to take a picture. Weirder.

The funny part is - we thought it was pretty normal. That's what six months on the road will do to you.

This is what I know...

Our first week of Christmas camp is drawing to a close and I've discovered some things about myself over the last few days - some good, some bad. It is interesting to be in the setting we are. We are a 10 minute drive from the edge of the nearest town, so since we have arrived at camp, we really have just been here. For the first few days, except for a few of the workers, we were out here all on our own.
So, here is what I know...

I've realized that I love familiarity. We've become comfortable in our surroundings and it is now familiar. I'm glad that we will have another week of time here to rest, do school and rehearsals, and just have a break. I've been very glad for the downtime and I think our schedule has allowed for a break for each of the chaperones without one person feeling like they bear the weight of duty.

I've realized that I am not good at play. The beginning of our break was mostly play. The children have loved it, but even they are tired! Benson came beside me today just before supper and laid his head on my shoulder. As I hugged him, I asked if he was tired. He turned his head towards me and yawned..."oh yes, Auntie. I am ready for bed!". The children have played soccer for hours, coloured, played games, wrestled and pretty much tired themselves out. I can only play for so long before I need a break. My imagination isn't made to play dolls for hours or run around a soccer field. I'm not good at it. I try to be and I think I'm getting better, but it does not come naturally to me.

I do well in change when I anticipate it, but I don't do well when it comes at me without warning. When I am given a schedule, I like it to stay that way. I don't like when the schedule changes simply due to lack of communication.

Intimate friendships are hard for me. I have thoughts to share, but I don't share them lightly. I haven't had a deep face-to-face conversation in 4 months. I've listened as part of a deep conversation, but I don't engage in it.

I like to have a purpose. I think I've done dishes after most of the meals and I enjoy it. Part of me realizes that I can be more of a Martha than a Mary and I need to work on that, but I also think that those are ways in which I show love. What I need to work at is finding a good balance of work and interaction.

I miss church. I miss my church. I miss the people that I worshiped with. I miss Pastor Dave's sermons that so often hit right where my heart needed it. We are church. This past Sunday we got to just go to church. No concert, no promotion, just church attenders. It was so great. I am glad that we will get to do it again next Sunday.

On a different note, I miss Vic. We are a different team without him. He is the emulsifier that mixes the water and oil together. I miss his perspective. I'm glad he'll be back.

Christmas was great. As I reflect back on this year, I can't believe how much has happened. 2009 was a great year and this has been a wonderful way to end.

Things I Love about Choir 35

1) Small hands catching mine.
2) The children fighting to stand beside me in devotions
3) Soccer games where all I do is run around screaming
4) Searching a field for my keys after a game of chase with Reagan
5) 23 hugs in the morning
6) Giggles
7) Laughing with Amy
8) Playing jokes on Tony
9) Shopping trips
10) Chats on the bus with Vic
11) David and Liz coming to visit
12) Host families that feel comfortable after just a few minutes
13) Chelsea's hugs
14) Priscillah's little voice calling me on the bus
15) Hearing the children pray
16) Alex asking "are you fine?"
17) Grace dancing with a huge smile on her face
18) Ritah singing Mwejje/Natamba
19) Stella's imagination
20) My home on Village 2 where it is just the chaperones and the children - no expectations, just us
21) Tony's stories in devotions that capture the children and the chaperones just the same
22) Benson's hugs that can last forever
23) My rotating bus buddies
24) Cleaning the bus with Alesha (we both take great joy in this!)
25) Little adventures that bring so much joy - like a trip to the ocean or seeing the Lights of Christmas
26) The funny little phrases that the children say and the laughs those little mix ups bring