Spring is Coming?

Today is the first day of spring - on the calendar only, I think...it certainly isn't happening here anytime soon.


For instance, this is our current weather...

Ya, you read that right.  Feels like -25 C with wind gust up to 61 km/hr.  That's the best first day of spring weather!

And this is what my yard looks like...

I've only got a little path to the door because the drift is so heavy...

There is a barbeque in there somewhere...

I'm thinking it will be June before I even know there is grass underneath all that snow. Spring is coming - eventually!

Renewed on the inside

I've spent this week painting the inside of my kitchen cupboards.  They were pretty beaten up and in need of cleaning and a fresh coat of paint.  Once everything is cleaned up and neatly tucked away behind closed doors (which are also in need of some TLC), no one will know that there has been a transformation.  I'll know it's different and clean, but unless someone actually opens the cupboard doors, it will remain a hidden renovation.

Sometimes I have to chuckle when I realize how God speaks to me...really, God, through cupboards?  Just like my cupboards, I've needed some cleaning and renewing on the inside.  I've been learning so many things lately about relationships, about timing, and about trust, but it all is happening on the inside.  Eventually, like my kitchen cupboards the outward parts of me will begin to show the change, but right now, it's taking place inside my heart.  And that's good.  I need to allow God time to work in my heart, to change my focus, to grow my understanding.  It's a renovation that's just between him and me. 

I'm not an easy person to get to know.  I keep things close to my heart and share with those special few who are persistent enough to keep on trying.  Even in my home, it will be those friends who might actually see the inside of my kitchen cupboards, just like they'll see my heart.  However, what I'm learning is that part of creating relationship is allowing those doors to be open both in my home and in my heart.  It's a struggle for me, but I'm working at it. 

Let It Rain...

I love music for many of reasons, but tonight, it was for the way it washed over me like a soothing balm.  It filled an empty place and enveloped me like a soft blanket on a blizzardy day.  I went out feeling awful and came home feeling refreshed, awakened.  There is something about live music with amazing musicians that changes your perspective on life.  A God-given joy that seeps down in my soul as the music permeates through my tough skin and reaches into my heart.

It was a last minute decision to go, but I'm glad I did.  Diana Krall on Valentine's Day.  Happy Valentine's Day to me.  Here's a favourite from the show...

Willing to give it a try

I have a great friend that always has fun and sometimes wacky ideas.  I'm always a bit hesitant to say yes, but I'm always glad when I do.  It's because of her that I did my first musical.  Then we did some ballroom classes, and now, of all things, I'm taking a ballet class!  You can laugh.  It's funny.  But even better is that it's fun.

I don't know why I'm always so hesitant to try new things.  I worry too much about making a fool of myself.  The questions is why?  Who cares if I look silly while trying to do a "demi plie" or my "port de bras" isn't quite right?  That's the point of trying.  You won't learn if you don't try.

I'll probably not be the next star in "Swan Lake", but I'll get in some exercise, some laughs and maybe, just maybe learn to be a little bit graceful.  It will probably help my dancing skills for whatever musical comes my way next.

I've got to be willing to give it a try or I'll never know if I like it or don't like it.  I'll just be making assumptions.  And you know what they say about assuming things...

New ballet shoes!

Mindful

Last summer I read Bill Hybel's book Too Busy not to Pray (2008) and one line has been going through my mind ever since.  He suggested that when you end a prayer, you say, "help us to be mindful of your presence".  It hit me so hard that ever since I read that, when I end a prayer, that's what I say.

BUT, what would happen if I was mindful of God's presence all the time?  What kind of amazing and wonderful things would happen in my life if I remembered that God is with me and around me always?  His spirit dwells within us AND among us.  Psalms 139:7-12 (NIV) says:

"Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence? 
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

If I am truly mindful that there is no where I can go and be away from God's spirit, that would make my walk with Christ so different.  I would love more, I would be more conscious of my words, I would be more deliberate with my actions.  I would remember that God's spirit is not only dwelling within me, but among the places where I am, no matter how far away I feel. 

Romans 8: 38, 39 says, 
 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I cannot be separated from my God.  He is always there, always loving, always pursuing.  Nothing has the power to separate me - except maybe my own mindlessness.  I want to be mindful of the Holy Spirit in my life all the time.  I no longer want to continue following mindless pursuits, forgetting that God is in even those things that I feel have no significance.  I want my pride to find its way out so that the Holy Spirit can fill in all the areas left open.

Mindful, not mindless.  Seeking to change, ready to move, called by name.

To be like the shepherds...

When I read the account of Christ's birth, I always find myself pondering about the shepherds.  I am amazed that God would choose to tell them first that the Saviour had been born.  They were not the most prominent of society; they slept with the sheep in the fields; they were probably dirty and would have been passed by without a second thought.  But God chose them.  He sent the Heavenly Hosts to get their attention - and get it, he did.  They were terrified, but that turned into excitement.  No hesitation, no questions - they simply went to find the Christ child.  Not only did they find him, they told everyone they met that the Saviour had come. 

I'm nobody special, but God has chosen me - just like he chose the shepherds.  I differ from the shepherds though - I'm not always so quick to share the excitement of Christ's birth and sacrifice.  Sometimes I think I haven't gotten past the terrified part.  I worry too much about what others will think of me.  I'm selfish.

This Christmas, I don't only want to remember Christ's birth, I want to share the joy of the salvation that comes from it.  I want to have the star shining so bright from within that like the wisemen, people are drawn to the manger.  At the foot of the manger, we find the foot of the cross.  Christ sacrificed so much - not only leaving his heavenly throne to walk this earth, but leaving it knowing the way his time on earth would end.  I don't make the sacrifice - he already did.  I simply reap his blessings.  What a wonderful gift to share.

Anticipating the Reunion

I've been anticipating this journey for 596 days.  I have 9 more days of anticipation and then something wonderful will happen...something I've waited to have happen since the day I said good-bye.  In 9 days, I will say hello to my beautiful Ugandan children.

I'M. SO. EXCITED!!! 

On Thursday, I will fly to meet Alesha and then we will jet off to Uganda for a few days before heading to Kenya to see the rest of our kids. 

That's 605 days total.  I've missed, loved, and prayed for these children since the day we said good-bye, waiting for God's timing and blessing to make the journey to this part of their lives. The journey has come together with grace and I feel truly blessed to be able to make this trip.  It will be both strange and wonderful to see how much they have grown and changed, but to also see how much they are still the same.

I want them to know that although we are many, many miles apart, they are still loved.  I want them to understand that even though we won't relive the 24/7 life of tour that they are not forgotten.

My prayer now is that I will be strong enough for a second time to say good-bye .