What do I love? What am I passionate about? These last few days have found me thinking about what it is I want to do when tour ends. I have two months to think about it, but I'm realizing that time passes so quickly. I want to seek God now before I turn into a frantic mess at the end of tour.
I'm taking a passion inventory. I sat myself down to think of what I love the most and where I hope that will take me. I miss conducting more than I ever thought possible. I REALLY hope that in God's plan, there will be something to do with choral music. Is there a way to incorporate conducting into ministry? Should I be looking at teaching internationally? Should I look at getting my masters so that I can teach at a Bible College? Or maybe there will be a ministry that calls me to work with youth but I can conduct on the side? I have no idea - at least not about the specifics. I do know that not conducting this year has been very hard. I really do love it. Not singing this year has also been very hard. I love worship and its role of ministry. However, I don't feel the calling to be a music minister, so I think that is out.
I am passionate about education. You may not know it from the way this year has been going, but I really miss being in the classroom. My one day of teaching the children English made me realize how much I have missed using that skill. I'm guessing that finding a way to incorporate teaching will be much easier than finding a way to incorporate conducting, but if I believe that God knows my passions, then it shouldn't really be an issue.
I am passionate about fulfillment. I don't want to live a life of mediocrity. This year on the road has shown me that God's will creates a sense of fulfillment. If there is one word I rarely use on tour, it is that I'm bored. I'm not bored. Although tour has become routine, I'm not bored in that routine. There is still so much happening and God teaches me so much every day that there isn't time to be bored. I have many dreams that I pray will be fulfilled and I believe that in God's plan for me they will be.
Still so many questions, still very few answers, and yet, I think in God's time, it will happen. He will look down on me and say, "Yes, Stacy. That's what I want. Good job at listening to my voice. This won't be easy, but it will fulfill my purpose in your life."
Seek ye first the kingdom of God
And His righteousness
And all these things will be added unto you
Hallelujah
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It's interesting when God moves you to places where you use different skills and abilities - and accentuates different passions. I'm realizing right now, in this season, I know that I am exactly right where God wants me to be (humbling as that is)... and yet my heart and my passion are in my previous position. At the same time, God is using, stretching, and enriching my giftings to fulfill his purpose in both the ministry and me. I find myself in a similar place hoping I can go "back" to using skills and gifts that I love and have put on the shelf for this season and this new position, but being grateful and hopeful for this season I am in now using different gifts and fulfilling different passions as God has lead me to for this time. Love you Stace and I pray that God would lead you step by step and that every place you go would fulfill the longings of your heart and the plans the Father has for your life. :) Not gonna lie - can't wait till you are "home". Love you.
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