Alaska

For the last 5 weeks, we have been hanging out in Alaska. We started in Northern Alaska in Fairbanks, then spent a bit of time in the Anchorage area before heading down to Southeast Alaska. These last 5 weeks have been great. We have been blessed over and over by our churches here, always amazed by their generosity and hospitality. Our stops in Southeast Alaska included Skagway (a beautiful little town), Haines, Juneau, Sitka (Auntie Jackie's home church), and our last stop for a week in Ketchikan. We have been enjoying the ferry rides, have seen several whales and porpuses, loved the scenery, and of course enjoyed lots of together time. Here are a couple of my favourtie pictures from Alaska! Enjoy :)Rogers and I on the ferry

Peace and Priscillah playing cards

Reagan and I hanging out at the beach

Ruthie and I at a church

James holding ice from the Mendenhall Glacier

The choir at the top of Mt. Roberts in Juneau

Me at Auntie Jackie's church in Sitka

Quiet

Soothing

Rejuvenating

Enjoyable

Thought allowing

Secret telling

Peaceful

Quiet

I love the quiet. I don’t need to be in active conversation all the time with someone. I don’t need a constant noise surrounding me. I can sit in a car with someone for 30 minutes and have only brief snippets of conversation and not feel uncomfortable. Quiet is nice. Quiet tells me we aren’t feeling that awkward need for random conversation. When I feel the need to talk, it is because of the awkwardness the OTHER person seems to be feeling about the quiet. I enjoy the quiet to allow my mind time to process all that is going on around me, to think through the day, or to simply enjoy the quiet.

We are staying at Auntie Jackie's church in Sitka, AK for 5 nights (kinda uncommon to have a 5 night stay) and I have set myself up in the little nursery. When I stop to think about where I'm sleeping, it makes me laugh and a few weeks from now, I'll be missing these nursery sleeps. Anyway, I enjoy the quiet I find in the church nursery when bedtime rolls around. After the busyness of the day, I'm grateful for a place to have quiet - a few moments to let my mind rest before falling asleep, a place to wake up and let my mind begin the day in a few moments of quiet. I wonder how I'll feel when I get home and find myself surrounded by quiet. Will I still crave it just as much?

For now, I will enjoy the quiet. I will embrace the noise too, but I'll be grateful for moments of solitude - even in the church nursery.

Denial

I want to live in denial.

Surely the ending of this story isn’t coming.

Good-bye can’t really be as close as it feels.

Denial would be easiest but I have been trying to give myself doses of reality in hopes that the ending won’t be nearly as hard as I’m anticipating. There are 3 months left of tour. I can’t believe it. Soon, this life I am leading will be over and I’m not sure I’ll know what to do with myself.

Soon, I won’t have 21 hugs every morning. I won’t be wondering how to be a good parent. There won’t be moments of laughter when the children speak “Egyptian” or when we almost bounce out of our seats on the highway. I won’t be on call anymore…I wonder if I’ll sleep. The children really won’t be mine anymore since I’ll no longer be their legal guardian. I won’t laugh with Deborah, cuddle with Priscillah, play fight with Faith, chase after Reagan, dance with Grace, cook with James, sing with Ritah, joke with Charity, talk with Brian, be Rogers’ bag check…

The people that I have spent more time with in the last 12 months than anyone else in my whole life will no longer be just a bus seat away. No longer will I turn around from my seat at the front to see the people who have become my world this past year. After a year on the road, I know how things go, how we work as a team, the things that make tour life rough and the little things that restore joy. Somehow, knowing that I’ll be starting over at home makes leaving that behind that much harder.

In 3 months, this life of tour will just be a memory. Something I once did that was different than the norm. In my 30 years, this has easily been one of the best years of my life. Will there be another year like this, or 30 years from now will I look back and think this was still one of the best years of my life? One year from now, will I miss it or be glad that it is over?

Perhaps denial is better.