30 Day Challenge - Day 25

Day 25 - A picture of yourself and a family memeber

My beautiful nieces and nephew.

Brooklyn

Alexa

Brennan

30 Day Challenge - Day 24

Day 24 - A picture of you last year and how you've changed since then

This time last year, Amy and I would find a Target and try on all the crazy hats and take pictures.  A lot has changed since then.  I'm home.  I'm childless.  I'm far away from my ACC friends.  I'm back with my home friends.  I'm unsettled, but I'm settled.  My priorities are different yet the same.  I'm more sure of myself in some areas and less sure in others.  I don't have that purse anymore.  I've had 2 more purses since this picture was taken.  I still have those earrings.  

30 Day Challenge - Day 23

Day 23 - A picture of something you wish you could change

I want to change my kitchen.  I want to change the counter tops and back splash, put in new flooring and re-stain the cupboards.  It is all a dream because it is too expensive.  The problem with doing one part is that I'd have to do them all.  It isn't that my kitchen is terrible, it just needs a freshening up.

Teaching is a funny thing

I got a job within my job today.  In 2 weeks, I'll become a full-time teacher again instead of a part-time teacher, part-time sub.  It seems that my teaching career is meant to start part way through.  I have never started a year at the beginning and completed it to the end.  I've had a million contracts, but never straight through.

You'll never guess what I'm teaching this time around....no, really...you'll never guess...go ahead...try.  Science.  Hahaha.  Science 09, to be exact.  I'm told that I will be fine from both the science teachers that I've talked to, so I figure it can't be that bad.  At least that's what I'm hoping for.  Added to the science is a Math 20 class.  I'm very excited to teach that.  I've taught Math 09 and Math 10 and I really enjoyed both of those, so I'm looking forward to teaching Math 20.  Whoo hoo!

Teaching is a funny thing.  I can't get a job that is consistent, but I've never gone without a job as a teacher.  Someday, I would like to have a classroom of my own, but for now I am simply grateful to have any classroom.  I am about to be a science teacher extraordinaire!  Who knows, maybe I'll love it.

30 Day Challenge - Day 22

Day 22 - A picture of your favourite book

I have a lot of favourite books.  I love to read.  When I like an author, I like want all their books.  I buy my books, I don't borrow them from the library or read them electronically.  I love the feel of the book, the smell, the comfort that comes from holding it.  Ah, books.  One of my favourite "go-to" books, I have probably read 15 times.  I love it.  A great book by Lori Wick called Pretense.

30 Day Challenge - Day 21

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

30 Day Challenge - Day 20

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

I want to go to Europe with Ang and Laura.  All over.  Anywhere.  I am not picky!

30 Day Challenge - Day 19

Day 19 - A picture of a habit you wish you didn't have


Once again, a hard one....hmmmm...habits...hmmmm...I crack my knuckles.  Mostly it is kinda annoying...

The Last Link

My boys are going home this week.  I think I've been holding on to Choir 35 as long as possible and the boys were the last link that kept them close (or as close as you can be when they are in Texas and I am here).  Knowing they are heading back to Africa, my heart hurts just like it did when the rest of my children went home in December.  Having Reagan and Jonah stay with Choir 37 was so hard, but it meant they were here just a little longer and I got to have one more time with my precious boys before my time with Choir 35 is truly over.

I'm going to say good-bye to them tonight and then only God truly knows when I will hear their voices again, listen to their laughter and be able to say with words how much I love them.  These boys (and all my children) will hold my heart forever.  I gave it to them and through all the highs and lows, they planted themselves firmly in my soul and I will always hold them there.

Reagan is my boy and I'm so glad I got to see him begin to develop character, to sow into his life lots of love and hopefully a little bit of wisdom, to remind him that he is special and that God has a plan for his life.  I wait with anticipation to see where God leads that boy.

Good-byes aren't high on my list of fun things to do.  I will go on just like I always do, because there is just no other option.

30 Day Challenge - Day 18

Day 18 - A picture of your favourite place

There is a house that sits on the number one highway...I love it and I take a picture of it almost everytime I drive by.  I will someday do a blog on that house, but for now, here is one of my favourite pictures of this place.

30 Day Challenge - Day 17

Day 17 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

How do you put up a picture of something that isn't tangible?  My biggest insecurity is being a disappointment.  I don't think there is a picture for that...

This one will do...thank you, Google

30 Day Challenge - Day 16

Well, I got a complaint about the 30 challenge hiatus, so here we go again.  I think the next time I want to do something like this, I'll read the whole thing first! 

Day 16 - A picture of someone you've been friends with the longest and still feel connected to.

Now, here's the thing...I already put up a picture of Amber.  She's my longest and closest friend.  So, do I just put up another pic of her?  I guess so!

Girl's weekend in Saskatoon

We had matching vests.  I loved that vest

Playing mini-golf

Amber's IBC grad

House sitting for Dirkson's

Wal-Mart shoe experience!

My university grad

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw concert....awesome

Amber's wedding

Randomly lonely

Loneliness is a funny emotion.  It strikes at the most random of times.  It doesn't hit when I am alone, but when I am in a crowd of people.  It comes from watching people interact easily and the longing that comes along with it.  I tend to be an introvert by nature and a poor conversationalist at the best of times which adds to this whole emotion of loneliness.  Sometimes I wish that people could hear the conversation in my head (sometimes I'm glad that they can't...) and that they could understand me without the speaking part.  Unfortunately, relationships aren't like that and when I open my mouth, it pretty much solidifies the reason I feel lonely.  I don't know how to communicate.  Sometimes during a conversation, I think I have a good tidbit to insert, but then I say it, the people stare strangely at me, the conversation moves on and I'm left thinking as to why I thought that was a good piece of conversation.  This is really the main reason I choose not to engage in conversation.  It is embarrassing and simply easier to be lonely.

I think it is safe to say that once people get to know me, the communication gets easier or they simply understand my lack of generally good conversation and they just move around my ramblings.  It's such a strange way to go about your life - wanting to engage with people but not having the slightest idea how to do it. 

I haven't grasped it in 30 years...how long will it take?

A game of skill

I love to watch curling.  I get mocked for this sometimes, but I don't care.  At least these players don't hit each other all the time.  I love the skill and patience that curling takes.  Perfect placement of rocks, big weight take-outs and quiet tap-backs. I think it is amazing how the front end can call out the weight of a rock, predicting where it will stop in the rings, or manipulating the path of the rock by wearing down the pebbles on the ice. 

It is a lot harder than it looks.  I wish I had kept up with it after high school.  I miss being out on the ice.  The Brier is on this week and my favourite team is in the playoffs.  Glenn Howard is a great skip and if he wins, it means he'll be at the World Championships which are being held here in Regina and for which I will be a volunteer.  That means, I could watch his games live :).  Sweet.

Maybe next year, I'll dust off my curling shoes, take the cobwebs off my broom and get back out there.  Hopefully, I won't fall on my butt!  HA!

30 Day Challenge - Day 15

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

I want to go to Kenya.

And so it goes...

It is amazing how quickly one can slip back into a past life and feel so normal - especially when the current situation still feels a bit foreign.  I loved being with Choir 37 this weekend.  It was so wonderful to be with Chelsea and Laura, to see Reagan and Jonah and to meet their new friends.  The children of Choir 37 are so loving and I soaked up as many hugs as possible.  Little Joshua gave the best hugs of all and was quite willing to give them.

Working with Chels at the product table felt so natural.  I felt right at home answering people's questions and giving them suggestions - I guess after 15 months, it makes sense that I would feel at home.

It did my heart a world of good to see my boys.  They didn't know I was coming and their reactions were simply priceless.  My Reagan held on tight and squeezed me for all he was worth.  It was wonderful to know that in his heart, I hadn't yet been replaced.  Jonah had a huge smile and yelled, YAY, while he ran at me for a hug.  I was grateful to spend 2 nights with the boys at host families (who were gracious and so welcoming to the "visitor").  I got lots of quality time with the boys and got to spend some time "remembering".

Reagan and Jonah

Quality time spent with Laura and Chelsea did my heart a world of good and reminded me that being intentional in these relationships will keep them close no matter where our crazy lives take us.  These friends are so dear to my heart and remind me that true friends are true, no matter what.

Leaving today has been hard.  But that is how life goes.  It moves on and we can't pause time, no matter how much we want to.  I am so grateful that I got to have this weekend to spend with my ACC family.

Choir 37

And so it goes...as Laura wrote in my card, the hurt goes as deep as the love.  Saying goodbye hurts because we love so much, but it also makes the time spent together that much sweeter.

30 Day Challenge - Day 14

 *I'm on a little vacay, so my 30 days are behind.  It'll still happen, but I'm not stressing*

Day 14 - A picture of your favourite past time

I love to read.  I love to read all sorts of books, but one of my most favourite authors is Karen Kingsbury, so I guess she would be the best author to showcase my love of reading :)

My favourite series

Lonely in Texas

This could be a new country song (or rock song for that matter, in case you haven't noticed the new trend in rock music for the songs to be about break-ups...but I digress).

Here I am in Texas, anticipating the joy of tomorrow and the fact that I can't wait to see Chelsea and Laura and yet I'm feeling so lonely all at the same time.  The last time I was here, I had my beautiful children and my chaperone friends at my side.  As I sit here in Starbucks, I can't help thinking about Alesha and Amy and all the running around we did.  I can still find my way around without the GPS, so that tells you it is still fresh in my mind.  I remember the kids building in the dirt and having playtime in the church parking lot.  I remember we had a group supper with our host families and we played a trick on Rogers with ice..ahahaha.  Auntie Beth had special cakes made for us. I remember that I met a family that used to live in Africa and knew about several different boarding schools.  I remember that Faith had on her pretty new skirt with her pink top and white sweater.  I remember that her and Amy matched.  I remember that there were a lot of ants.  I remember that Alesha and I stayed together with Ruthie, Pris and Charity.  I remember that Leash and I stayed up late watching a movie and she had a water mishap :).  I remember that I was frustrated with Rogers and that Amy and I found some random music and sang at the piano at the church for a while (and I remember the kids were surprised.  We should have done that more...again, I digress).  I remember that Amy and I walked to the post office and it was hot outside. I had my first McDonald's smoothie here in Texas...what a funny memory!  I also broke my camera here.  That was unfortunate.

It was a wonderful stay here in Texas.  I will try to remember those memories with happiness instead of loneliness.  

Playing in the dirt

Faith's pretty skirt

My kiddos on a cake :)

30 Day Challenge - Day 13

Day 13 - A picture of your favourite band or artist

Asking this of a musician is like asking a designer their favourite colour.  I have too many favourties to name.  Josh Groban has already made this photo journey, so I won't put him up again.  I also enjoy Hedley, Sarah McLaughlin, Jann Arden, Carrie Underwood, Martina McBride, Casting Crowns, Amy Grant, Sandi Patty, and so on and so on.  But, I have to say, after my ACC MWS experience, this man and his band are definitely high on my list.  Not only are they great performers, they are friendly, down to earth and amazingly humble.

Empie contemplating joining the band

Hanging out with MWS

30 Day Challenge - Day 12

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

Once again - such a hard thing to narrow down.  I love Chai tea, baby pigs and home.  I love my family.  I love my friends.  Hmmmm...how to put all that in a picture.  Well, I can't!  So here is a picture of some people I love an awful lot :)