To be like the shepherds...

When I read the account of Christ's birth, I always find myself pondering about the shepherds.  I am amazed that God would choose to tell them first that the Saviour had been born.  They were not the most prominent of society; they slept with the sheep in the fields; they were probably dirty and would have been passed by without a second thought.  But God chose them.  He sent the Heavenly Hosts to get their attention - and get it, he did.  They were terrified, but that turned into excitement.  No hesitation, no questions - they simply went to find the Christ child.  Not only did they find him, they told everyone they met that the Saviour had come. 

I'm nobody special, but God has chosen me - just like he chose the shepherds.  I differ from the shepherds though - I'm not always so quick to share the excitement of Christ's birth and sacrifice.  Sometimes I think I haven't gotten past the terrified part.  I worry too much about what others will think of me.  I'm selfish.

This Christmas, I don't only want to remember Christ's birth, I want to share the joy of the salvation that comes from it.  I want to have the star shining so bright from within that like the wisemen, people are drawn to the manger.  At the foot of the manger, we find the foot of the cross.  Christ sacrificed so much - not only leaving his heavenly throne to walk this earth, but leaving it knowing the way his time on earth would end.  I don't make the sacrifice - he already did.  I simply reap his blessings.  What a wonderful gift to share.

Anticipating the Reunion

I've been anticipating this journey for 596 days.  I have 9 more days of anticipation and then something wonderful will happen...something I've waited to have happen since the day I said good-bye.  In 9 days, I will say hello to my beautiful Ugandan children.

I'M. SO. EXCITED!!! 

On Thursday, I will fly to meet Alesha and then we will jet off to Uganda for a few days before heading to Kenya to see the rest of our kids. 

That's 605 days total.  I've missed, loved, and prayed for these children since the day we said good-bye, waiting for God's timing and blessing to make the journey to this part of their lives. The journey has come together with grace and I feel truly blessed to be able to make this trip.  It will be both strange and wonderful to see how much they have grown and changed, but to also see how much they are still the same.

I want them to know that although we are many, many miles apart, they are still loved.  I want them to understand that even though we won't relive the 24/7 life of tour that they are not forgotten.

My prayer now is that I will be strong enough for a second time to say good-bye . 

Cross that off the bucket-list

I did it.  I ran a half-marathon.  It took me 2hr 39min 12sec to do it, but I actually did it.  AND, I didn't come in last :).

Here's some proof! Thanks, Tandi, for the pics!

Still smiling!

Just breathe!

So close!

Done...and there is someone behind me

Inspired to be Motivated

I heard recently that people don't motivate, they inspire.  The speaker went on to say that inspiration is external, but motivation is internal.  I had never thought of this before and realized that I always likened motivation and inspiration to be somewhat the same. 

Motivation is defined as the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.  It is the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.  However, inspiration is defined as an exalting influence, producing a feeling or thought in others. It means to fill or affect with a specified thought or feeling.

When comparing the definitions, I realized how true the first statement was.  Motivation comes from somewhere inside you, but often it is inspired and influenced by others.

I was thinking about this in terms of my motivation to run this upcoming half marathon.  I was inspired by a few people and that inspiration motivated me to not give up.  Had it not been for several people in my life, I would have quit this running thing months ago.  As it is, the half is in 3 days and although I'm a bit nervous, I'm ready.  I'm ready because I was inspired to not give up.  Kaia, Tandi, Shannon and Britt all gave me the inspiration I needed to continually motivate myself even when I didn't really want to.  They didn't motivate me.  I had to do that for myself.  However, it was their constant encouragement, their excellent suggestions, the crazy cleanse and even a kick in the pants now and again that helped me on this journey towards motivation.

I am grateful for their inspiration and because of it, I have found a mental and physical strength that I didn't know I possessed.  

Perhaps we shouldn't have motivational speakers, but inspirational ones, yes?

 

Stronger than I think I am...

I went for my 5 mile run/walk today and I have discovered that running is an exercise of the brain more than it is of the body.  No, I can't run 5 miles straight yet, but I can run a lot further than I think I can if I just get past the excuses. 

I can do this.  I can train to run a half marathon (did I mention that?  I'm running the RPS marathon in April) because it isn't about doing it all at once.  It's about the journey.

It's a hard and sweaty run, but it is worth it.  Each run gets a little bit easier and each time I get a little bit stronger mentally.  If I can maintain the consistency of my workouts, then I'll be ready when April comes because I'll have prepared for it.

I can do this.  I'm stronger than I think I am.

Nostalgia

I don't typically find New Years to be super nostalgic for me...generally that hits me in September when a new school year starts.  I think this year is probably different because of all the transition that has happened.  I've learned so much about myself, so many lessons that needed to be learned - some the hard way, some the easy way - but learned one way or the other.

I cleaned out my TV stand drawers and found my grade 12 grad video and my IBC grad video, so I decided to watch them...perhaps this is where that nostalgia comes from.  As I watched, I realized how quickly time has passed.  I graduated from high school almost 14 years ago!  Whoa!  Things certainly haven't gone the way I planned, but I've had so many wonderful opportunities that never would have happened if I had followed my own course.

The year I was at IBC, we had a choir for graduation.  As the music played (the cheesy synth shining through), I almost started to fast forward but decided it was worth a listen.  The chorus of the song was:

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you can't see his plan
When you can't trace his hand
Trust his heart

This year has been hard in many ways.  Sometimes I try to find the tracing of where God's hand is leading me and I simply can't.  This song reminded me that I am not always going to have the ability to know where God is leading me, but if I trust the heart of God to be wise and good, then the path I will be on will be one of faithfulness.

A few lessons learned this year:

• Life is full of seasons, of joys and sorrows, letting go and holding on.
• Boundaries are good.  Set them.
• Honesty and faithfulness are keys to relationship. 
• Sometimes God says no.  We might not know the reason, but that's where trusting his heart is so key.
• I can't change the past.  
• Love deeply.  Loss comes and that is part of life, so don't withhold love even when it hurts.
• Worry ends where faith in God begins.  

I hope this year is filled with adventure.  I want to learn to rejoice in all things.  I hope that dreams will come true and God says yes. Not my will, but his be done.