"Who Has Your Heart"

I'm reading a really great book by Emily Ryan called "Who Has Your Heart?". Basically, it is a book about learning to live as a single woman. I think the church has created a stigma about being single. In the secular world, people rarely ask me when I'm going to get married. They may ask me if I ever want to get married, but they rarely ask "when". If I knew when I was going to meet that special someone and get married, I'm sure that I'd be telling the world. I have discovered that so much value is placed on being married by the church. Yes, it is ordained by God and yes, it is a blessing and a gift, but if God has chosen to not have me at that place at this point in my life, then does it make me less of a person or less useful to the church and to the call of Christ? No, I don't think it does. That being said, as a single girl, I must find where my place in the church is, regardless of my marital status.

Emily made a couple of points in the last chapter that really made me stop and think. She writes about discovering your identity and the importance of realizing that who you are is who you will be...married or single. Getting married does not change your identity. She writes that often we, as women, wait until we are married to discover who we are. The question we should be asking ourselves, at this moment, is "who am I now?".

The second thing that really stuck me in this chapter was when she talked about waiting. Her writing is so candid. She's having a little conversation with God that goes something like this (pg. 52):

"God, I know I have to wait on You. I fought it for a long time, but I've accepted it now. But what do I do in the meantime?"

"Wait on Me."

"God, I got that part. Didn't you just hear me? I said that I've accepted the fact that I'm supposed to wait on You. Just tell me what to do while I'm waiting."

"Wait"

"So you want me to wait while I wait?"

"Yes"

"God, I love you, and I don't want to sound disrespectful, but that's crazy! How can I wait while I wait?"

And he just smiled (that's how I pictured it, anyway) and said again, "Just wait. You'll see soon enough what I mean."

She goes on to redefine the word "wait". To wait means to serve. So while we are waiting, we are to be serving. What a great way to discover your identity. Through service!

The last thing that really hit me in this chapter was about independence. Sometimes as a single woman, I get so caught up in my independence that I forget about the fact that I am still dependent...on God. She writes about how a single woman can become so proud of her independence that she forgets that she is in dependence on God. Independence is wavering and fragile. Living in dependence on God means there will be solid footing, a steady hold when things happen that we cannot control.