Content or Pleading

The other night a friend of mine was over and we were talking about being single. For the most part I am at peace with the place I am at in my life. Not for a moment did I think that I would be approaching 28 and still be single.

The question is do I remain content at the place I am or do I begin to constantly lay this hope of marriage at the feet of the Father? Do I bother him incessantly or determine to live this life until he brings that special person to my door?

The whole topic came about after one of the mission teams shared at church. They had been in the Marshall Islands and they showed a picture of a man and his wife. The man had pleaded with God to bring him a wife - and obviously he was given one.

Am I single still because I don't ask the Father often enough to bless me with a spouse? I feel as though I have so much to give and at this moment it is being stifled inside me with no where to go.

Then the next question is - as a single gal, how do you let a single guy know you are interested? Or do you not let him know and hope he'll figure it out? I've read several different Christian books on being single and there is conflicting reports. I have a boy in mind, but he is definitely clueless...do I send out a signal or do I hope he'll come to his senses?

So many questions, so few answers...

Decisions, sunny rain, and the Lord's Prayer

So many thoughts have been running through my mind for the last few weeks. AND so much has happened, changed.

I chose to not take the job at Notre Dame...what a huge life altering decision that was. I could have taken a job that would have offered stability, a steady income and a position that would have lasted as long as I wanted it too - BUT it wasn't a job that would really make me happy. I've decided that I'd rather be happy than stable. I don't know if this is wise or not, but I truly feel at peace about this decision. The other reason that I decided not to take the job was a matter of integrity. I really want to go back to school. Notre Dame is looking for someone who wants to be an intregal part of their school for the long term. I don't think I'm ready to commit that to them. The dream of going back to school feels like it might actually be a reality for me now.

In the process of making that decision, I really felt reminded of the Lord's Prayer - and one verse inparticular. Christ teaches us to pray "Give us this day our daily bread". Just this day...not this week...not this year...not the next ten years. Just today. One of the main thoughts that kept coming at me was how much money I would make if I took the job. It's true that the money would have been very nice. I could live like a princess. But the money cannot be reason enough. I am now in a position of great instability where I will be wondering from month to month if I'll be able to make it. The great joy in that is I never have to worry. I look back at the last year and see all the ways that God took care of me - on a day-to-day basis. Everyday he gave me what I needed. Not once was I left without. Now, I'm not saying that God doesn't bring us stability or want us to have it. I know that I made a decision that was God-honouring and that he will provide because of it.

In the midst of all that, my favourite weather phenomenon (well, it might not be a phenomenon) of rain when the sun is shining has happened three times in the last week! I love the smell of rain and I love when the sun is shining. It's like the best of both worlds.

I think this sunny rain is a great analogy for life. Sometimes it feels like we're living in a time of rain, but if we really take a look at life, we'll discover that amidst the rain are many rays of sunshine - if we could just focus on them, then the rain wouldn't seem so dreary. Sometimes it isn't sunny at all when the rain is pouring, but the sun always comes out eventually. The rain never stays forever. Since I've moved into my house, I've really come to love the rain. It means I don't have to water my lawn or my flowers. Mother nature does it for me.

I'm resting in the truth that God is in control - of both the rainy days and the sunny days.

Theory, Guitars, Cars and English Lessons

What do theory, guitars, cars and English lessons have in common?

Well, I am going to review my music theory and prep to write Grade 4 Royal Conservatory Harmony. I'm attempting to learn the guitar and have made that my summer goal. I will still be working at the auto trader and I'm going to be a conversationalist at the university with some students from Hungary who are learning English. That will be a lot of fun.

The life of a teacher does not mean slack summers. I need to figure out what is happening in the fall - currently I am back on the sub list. I'm still trying to decide how I feel about that. I need to decide if I want to go back to school and if I do, I need to get going on the grad applications.

Yep, no rest for the weary...