Stuck in BC

So, things have not been going as planned. BUT, I'm learning to take each day as it comes.

I have been stranded in British Columbia for a week and one day. At first, it was so frustrating and I felt so angry, but as the week has progressed, I have discovered that I am feeling rested and blessed.

I have spent a few days at the Music for Life/African Children's Choir office. I'm getting to know the people who really work behind the scenes to make this ministry possible. I have taken over Dave's old cubicle and done some work, but mostly I have done whatever Mike needs me to do. It's been fun.

At first, I felt like a huge inconvenience. I don't know anyone in this area of BC, so staff from the office have been taking care of me. It has been hard to be so dependent, but I've been so blessed. I've stayed with 2 different families from the office and I've made some wonderful friends. Hanging out with Rhonda has been so much fun. They've also given me freedom and space, things that I really need.

Langley is a beautiful place and in reality, I could be stranded in a much worse place :) It's not home, but it feels comfortable and I really am enjoying being here.

This morning at church, the pastor spoke on being in exile and I leaned over to Rhonda and said that is how I feel. He talked about how when we are in exile, we shouldn't be praying to get out, but praying into our situation. I have not been praying for that. I want out, but really, I should be asking God to show me what he wants me to learn from this experience.

So, although I would love to be in the States with my choir and the other chaperones, I am thankful for this time that God has given me. I am blessed in the midst of the storm.

Discovering Uganda

I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head after my time in Uganda. Bear with me...this may be long and disconnected but at least the thoughts will be out!

I honestly never thought that I would go to Africa. It isn't a place that I know a lot about. It isn't even a place I thought a lot about or wondered about. It seems to me that God has planted me in a completely different direction than I ever thought possible.

My time in Uganda was both good and hard. It was an amazing, confusing, thought-provoking, emotional, joyful, stressful, enlightning and a million-other-feelings-that-I-can't-begin-to-put-into-words time. I think the learning curve was so high at the beginning of my time there that I almost blocked it out.

I arrived in the evening and spent my first night at Lwaza with Choir 34. The next afternoon, Uncle Abraham drove me into Makindye where I got to meet my choir. What an amazing experience. The children all lined up and gave me a big hug and introduced themselves. Uncle Barnett made sure they knew who I was and they were all pretty excited.

My first sort of "crazy culture" experience was going into Kampala with Barnett. We rode on the public transportation, which is a 14 seat van-taxi. It was unbelievable. You stand on the side of the road until a taxi with free seats drives by. Barnett took me around Kampala after we visited Ambassadors of Hope - the Music for Life sponsorship office. I met Mammy Rubina who has been with the organization since the first choir back in 1984.

Kampala has more people than I think I could have ever imagined. Everywhere you looked - people. People walking, riding bodabodas, getting in taxis, buying almost anything you could imagine from a street vendor or a market stall or even a high class store front. I felt overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people. But, beyond that was the level of class that could be seen everywhere you looked. From the beggar on the street corner to the businessman in his suit or the little street stand outside the hightech electornics store. So many contradictions.

I really got settled in to life at Makindye. Being in the compound was very comfortable and it was easy to forget that there was life outside of the fences. At Makindye, I observed a lot of rehearsals, taught a little bit of school and in general just hung out with the people who work there. I had many wonderful conversations with Kenneth and Morris. I learned a lot from hearing their perspectives and thoughts on both Africa and America. Auntie Ruth - who is the training centre cook - was also a source of knowledge for me. Watching the amazing way she served the children was such a lesson to me. She loves them fully and builds into their lives in the amazing way she serves.

I was also very blessed to spend some time with Auntie Sally. She is an amazing woman who really opened up my eyes and my heart to the mission of Music for Life and the African Children's Choir. She has lived in Africa for many years and really has an excellent perspective on African/American relationships and cultural differences. I found in her a kindred spirit and beyond the culture talks shared many wonderful laughs and chats with her.

However, the hardest part of my time in Africa was my home visits. I was fortunate to be able to meet 10 of the 12 Ugandan children's families. It was amazing yet difficult to go to the homes of my children. It is true that the African Children's Choir is helping Africa's most vulnerable. It doesn't mean that our children are orphans, it just means that they come from very needy homes. Several of the homes I went to were the size of the bathroom in my home - and a family lives there. Imagine for a moment that you live in a space the size of your bathroom and that the actual bathroom is a communal "long-drop" that you walk to some distance from your home. Then imagine that in that space, there is no electricity and your roof is a piece of tin that you've set on top of some random nailed boards and is held on by rocks. Or imagine that your house is made of red clay and when it rains, it melts. Can you imagine? I couldn't imagine. But suddenly, I was there. Seeing. Knowing. Wondering. Hurting.

I have some very sweet children in my choir. Seeing where they come from makes me wonder how they can still be so sweet. My children have come from situations that could never be imagined by the children in America. My children are the same age as my neice and I can't imagine her living in the conditions in which they do.

Then, on top of all the emotions that I was feeling, I was amazed at the beauty of many of the families I visited. In one home, the mother prayed for us before we left and I have never felt so blessed. I didn't know what she was praying - she was praying in Lugandan - but I knew that she was praying for God's blessings to be upon us. It was amazing. She was so thankful that we would give her daughter this opportunity. An opportunity that she would not likely get otherwise.

I am not the same person I was when I left 2 weeks ago. I am changed. Deeply. I am still figuring this out. So many more thoughts to work out. I know I will need a bit more time. I'm so grateful for this experience. I am grateful that God saw fit to put me into this position. Life will never be the same.

Love much, hurt deeply

*I promise that a post is coming about my time in Uganda. I am still processing. This is an update on the days since I have been back*

I arrived home from Uganda without my bag and without an American Visa. We were supposed to have one night in Canada and then the three Canadians were going to head down to the US on Saturday. No such luck. The American Chaperones ended up joining us here in Langley and we did our training at the home of the Volunteer co-ordinator for the ACC. No big deal, training can happen anywhere. So, now it has been 3 days and still no Visas. I am hanging out at the Music for Life office, hoping and praying that they will be approved soon.

The hardest part about this is knowing that I will most likely not get to meet my babies at the airport. I fell in love with the children from my choir during my time in Uganda and knowing that they will arrive there without me to greet them is so hard. It is hard to believe that as Canadians, we are having a harder time with the Visa application process than 13 Ugandans and 12 Kenyans. So much for neighbourly love.

It is very much a guessing game as to when/if the Visas will come. I am trying to remember that God's timing is so much greater than mine, but right now my heart is very sad that I may miss out on the next few days with the children and the rest of our chaperone team. This week of training was great, but we were still without our 2 African chaperones and Auntie Stacie who will be joining us for the next month. It may be at least a week before we become a complete team - and that is even a bit optimistic.

I am praying that God works it out knowing that he could make this miracle happen, yet asking him to help me recognize that this is out of my control and should his answer be "no", that I will take it with the love and grace in which he sends it.

I loved much. I hurt deeply. 10 months with the children is still ahead, but I feel like I'll be missing out on the beginning. I like beginnings.