Remembering

Hugs.  Butterfly kisses.  Story time.  Walks and talks. Hats. Giggles. Concerts. Bus rides. Hosties. Home. Playtime. Tears. Hard love. Starbucks. Target. New places. Dance parties. Skip Bo. Dutch Blitz. Church stays. Ferry rides. Alaska. Rest stops. eMPie. Singing.  Hotels. Devotions. Adventures. Love notes. Colouring. Movie nights. Forts. Camp. Mirembe.

It's been 3 years since my tour life came to a close.  Strange how far away yet close it feels.  I don't dwell on tour like I did when I first came home, but everyday, I look at the picture of my kids and feel a little twinge of homesickness. 

I found this the other day and realized it is the perfect description of what I feel.  My tour home is a place I cannot return, yet find myself sometimes longing for.  My kids are becoming young adults and we'll never be together again the way we were for the 15 months we spent on the bus in constant community.

I miss those months.  Not with the desire to return to another tour, but to have my ACC family back on a bus together just one more time to make just one more memory.  I wish to sit with Reagan and Benson and read a book.  I want to play one more game of Skip Bo with Esther.  I want to listen to Deborah's jokes and hear her laugh.  I want to hear Ritah and Peace singing to their CD players.  I want to talk with Faith about life and love and all things difficult.  I want to see what treasures Alex and Rogers have stuffed in their pockets and what the plan is for them.  I want to listen to Ivy and Stella's stories. I want one more drawing from Jonah.  One more time to cook with James.  One more time to dance with Ruth. One more time to walk with Grace. One more play time with Derrick. One more moment to tell Brenda I love her. One more host family with Charity who made laughs abundant.  One more talk with Brian who is so insightful. One more hug from Priscillah who always needed just one more hug. One more love note from Naomi. I want to answer all of Eunice's crazy questions. I want to hear John sing so beautifully during the concert.

There will always be a little bit of longing for the moments on the bus.  I've been off tour longer than I was on it, but the imprint left on my heart will always outlast the time, the distance and the changes.