The Need for Solitude

I have always been a person who needs to have a significant amount of alone time in order to function to the best of my ability. These last few weeks have been busy and solitude has been hard to come by. Tonight, the choir is staying together again at Auntie Judy's house, but this time it is following a concert and not a week off for Thanksgiving. I am staying at a hotel. As I was saying good-night, I found myself sad that I would be missing out on a night with everyone, but at the same time being so glad to have some time to myself. It was a strange tug-of-war going on within my heart as I remembered that there would be more together times (like in 2 sleeps) and wondering about what fun I would miss. The children are so fun to be around and often say and do the funniest things and time with just the other chaperones is good for us as a team. Knowing that I will miss out almost made me want to stay. BUT the need for some quiet won out and I am so glad it did. This evening of quiet has been wonderful for my spirit. As I sit here in the quietness of my room, I can feel myself relaxing and the tension of the day leaving. This is just what I needed.

As I was giving Alex a hug good-night, he asked where I was going. I told him that tonight I had my own room at another place. As he hugged me, he looked up and asked who would be there to protect me. What would I do if something happened and I was all by myself? The genuine concern that this 9 year old boy was showing for me brought tears to my eyes. He was so worried that his auntie wouldn't have someone there if she needed it. In the midst of all the chaos, he showed me so much love. I am so blessed.

So, tonight I sit in quiet, thankful that I have these moments to collect myself, yet missing my children. They have captured my heart.